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  • Writer's pictureJeb Brack

What Kind of Online Quiz Are You?

Find out with this online quiz from The Blarg!

By now you know what Avenger you are, what Harry Potter character you are, the city where you should live and even what kind of house you should own--all thanks to the ubiquitous online quiz. You know the ones: your friend's feed says "I am Zeus!! Find out what Greek God you are with this amazing quiz!" and you do it, because you know your friend isn't Zeus--you are! (At most, your friend is Epimetheus, Titan of afterthoughts and excuses.)

Brace yourselves, Blargers, because today we go meta! Take this quiz and find out what kind of quiz you would be, if you were an online quiz! You can click beside the answer that best describes you, but frankly it won't do any good because we don't have the budget or tech chops for that sort of thing. For scoring purposes, write down your response to each question.

Question 1: When you talk with friends, what do you like to ask them about?

A) Their favorite X-Men

B) Their Zodiacal sign

C) Their pets

D) Their preferred passwords

Question 2: When you visit someone's house, what do you bring them as gifts?

A) A nice bottle of wine

B) Artisinal preserves or jellies

C) A plant

D) Spyware, viruses, or cookies (the computer kind, not the home-baked kind)

Question 3: Finish this sentence: I am most interested in_________________:

A) Downton Abbey

B) Taylor Swift

C) Star Wars

D) The web-browsing and spending habits of people in all demographics.

Question 4: Which of these animals would you prefer to be?

A) Cat.

B) Dog.

C) Bird.

D) Online bot that tracks every keystroke of my prey.

Question 5: Which genre of music sucks the most?

A) Country/Western

B) Hip hop/R&B

C) Pop

D) No, I'm not selling this information to iTunes or Amazon, why do you ask?

Scoring: Give yourself 5 points for every D) answer, and 1 point for any other answer.

If your total is:

25 points--you should be a sneaky, intrusive, big-brother-in-a-cute-costume information gathering quiz! You don't really care about the characters in the Lord of the Rings or which version of the Starship Enterprise people most resemble. All you care about is harvesting the data the public blithely hands over to you, data they would hesitate to share with their own families. Best of all, you don't have to worry about spreading yourself to other people--your victims will do it for you!

0-24 points--See above, except you're even sneakier because you actually DO kind of care about the questions themselves. You're also lying to yourself, and worst of all, you're really annoying to see in my Facebook feed.

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