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  • Writer's pictureJeb Brack

The Amazing Adventures of FINDERMAN!!

As a superpower, it's not much to brag about (but I'm going to).

My abilities are strictly limited. They only work inside my house, and only on my family. Don't come running to me if you've lost something important; in fact, my abilities don't seem to work on myself.

You see, I have the power to find stuff that my family members have misplaced, ESPECIALLY if they have left their belongings in an extremely obvious place. Why? Because I am...


Can't find your keys, honey? Here they are, on the kitchen table next to your purse!!

What's that, child? Your homework has gone missing? Why, there it is, on your bed!!

You say you've looked all over for your other shoe, and it's nowhere to be found? Did you look right here, where you took it off last night?

Thanks, Finderman. (Note the lack of enthusiasm. But FINDERMAN doesn't notice; he's already off to his next case!)

Eerily, FINDERMAN can sometimes lend his powers for a short time, allowing the victims to help themselves.

Finderman, have you seen my glasses? They were...oh! Found them! They were on my nightstand all along!

Does anyone know where my saxophone went? Ow! Never mind, I just tripped over it!

I don't know the origin story of Finderman; it often seems like I've always had these powers, but I didn't want to acknowledge their existence. All those times I found cat puke by stepping in it? Just bad luck. And as I mentioned, my uncanny ability does not function on myself. If I lose my phone, I have to call it so I can hear it ringing under the sofa cushions, just like normal mortals. I am my own Kryptonite.

But take a word of advice from FINDERMAN: It's always in the last place you look, so why not look there first?

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